Realizing. Reaching. Really Living.

As I was talking on the phone to Javi last night, we discussed the reality of where we're at in life right now. Gone are the days that encounter a certain freedom - a peculiar, carefree manner - that I have no desire for anymore.

All the things that once filled my life are no longer available or visible. Strange, isn't it? How time moves on? It's concept that rings true when looked upon in hindsight.

I stare at my life today, as I'm fighting to do what's right in all areas. I stand in a much better light than I ever have. It glows with hope. It CAN become dim, at times, from feeling that I fight alone... but then, a close-by spark comes into view. The spark triggers an illumination for everything I need, and I realize, I'm not alone.

Becoming a young man of God isn't always easy - and there's plenty of speed humps along the road. In fact, sometimes, current life is simply defined as "tough." But God is not the author of confusion. Nor is my Lord too weak, too busy, or too stubborn (as I am) to empower me.

So where am I at NOW? Having turned 21, someone asked me if I feel any different. For the first time in my life, I answered "yes." Why? Because I can see a distinct line...separating myself from the past stages of my life.

There's always childhood to pre-teen. Then hits the teen-to-older-teen stage. As for me... those stages have come and gone. Now, the remaining future is unwritten and undeclared as ANYTHING yet! I can declare my past years as "This" or "That" - having been there. Now, I can only live out with passion, give my entire best in life, and allow God to be the author of my story. May He continue to guide and plant seeds in me, so I may bear much fruit.

A person is not defined by the digits of their existence.

Maturity is the measuring stick to which I size a person. And I pray, with all my might, that I might be "measured" as tall - in who I am.

Obviously, new joys have come in to my life and flow abundantly; however, looking back when times were without the cares of today... and they were without the duties I shadow wherever I go... yes, they were fun - but I wouldn't live it again. Nor do I crave it now.

My life is filled with goals that are yet to be tasted in fulfilment, realities that cause my smile to widen, truths that cause me to better myself, close guys that are more than just "pals" - but rather, my best friends that I can come to for anything... and most of all, I have my Redeemer who overflows His love to me, causing me to love Him back with every breath I take.

I like where I'm at in life. That's an understatement. At the same time, I don't want to stay here - and I'm not comfortable with where I'm at - only because I desire to grow and be better, and better, through the power that comes from above. I will keep reaching out.

Constantly on the move. Never going back. Looking with anticipation at what lies ahead. This is me.

I am about to embark on a daily journey that leads to me to eternity. How will I live it? With every ounce of focus to come out victorious.